you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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