Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
