If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
