singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
