names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
