just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize