Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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