is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
