Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I think I sprained my soul last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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