Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
