I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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