Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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