I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
