it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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