hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
