I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
