So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
i now understand why vodka
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
