I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
birth control should be required to get into college
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize
