you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
