She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
