we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
