well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
