We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
