OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
