There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
These tits shall not be calmed
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
