YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize