But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
