i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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