I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
