btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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