I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
