guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
