I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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