Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
