my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
