you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
