You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
