I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
