No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
