The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
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his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
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True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
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