batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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