How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
