Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
