Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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