i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
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