I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
