I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I could fuck to npr.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
