2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
