a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You may now shotgun with the bride
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
