She's JV to your varsity
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
