I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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