I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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