im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
