lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
