hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
