Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
nutella sex= disaster
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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