wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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