If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
