sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
