You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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