Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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