i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
