I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
