his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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