it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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